Do not accept checks from this man, AKA/Gock. The muscle of the clan. He has made many of his targets soil themselves just by looking at them. The elderly have sworn they will exact some type of feeble revenge for this. His response--OH IT'S ON PICKLEFUCKERS!

Eva Dewer entertains the crew with some "interspecies erotica" or the new "Air Supply" video, one in the same it could be argued. Its his sick sense of humor that has put the group ahead of such monsters as Michael Richards, Ann Coulter and Christopher Titus. Indoctrinated T3 and T4 into this den of vipers. Where will this madman draw the line?

T4 is the most dangerous of all. Don't be fooled by the angel-like exterior. She has been known to lure victims into a calming yet false sense of security to make them lower their guard so they are as easy to hunt down as wildebeests for the rest of the gang. Looks up to and admires Eva Dewer--god knows why?

T3 is the brains of the outfit and believe me that ain't saying a whole helluva lot. Word on the street is he is fitting Eva for a pair of cement loafers for the airline mix-up that was at his expense over the weekend. Actually believes the rest of the gang is really so stupid he could indeed sell them dirt. JoJo Gunne is the only one who inquired. Big suprise.

Personal heroes--Meyer Lansky and Major Healy (don't quite get that last one).

This poor bastard, JoJo Gunne, thinks he's smart by hiding his face but with a rat's nest for hair, he'll be hard to miss. Rumors of hanky-panky with King of Fools were proven true. However, she has promised to kill him in his sleep if he continues to move in bed. His days are numbered.

Big Bad Mama--or Koala or Alee or WTF ever she is calling herself these days. She has a hard time keeping a low profile because all the neighborhood children know her as that "crazy crafts lady with all those tools" She is in charge but is always looking over her shoulder because of...

...this one, King Of Fools as many within the group have witnessed has the ability to slaughter an entire village if provoked. No one has ever disagreed with her and lived to talk about it. Although oddly enough she has rarley been seen in a violent nature because she prefers to manipulate people with her rack. (See JoJo Gunne)

We believe this gentleman, who we've learned goes by the name Pert is a totally innocent victim of the whole thing. He was taken hostage when he witnessed the Funyak incident in 2005. He has not tried to escape because the group continues to supply him with fresh food and an endless amout of trivial sporting events on television. I mean who else could possibly sit through the Youngstown State /James Madison football game this weekend?

Not Pictured: O Mr Leonard, Agatha, GT1, T1, T2--should have pictures and info on these missing links at next "family" gathering in January. Stay tuned.